Bye, Rita

So much has happened today, and I don't have the mental energy to write well about all of it, so this is going to be a bit bullet-point-y, and will be returned to in the next couple of days for more attention.

Sunday night, I knew I had two things coming for me: a job interview (which could really save my bacon), and a tough decision to make about my dog Rita. Knowing that this potential high and probable low were going to be part of my day helped me prepare for it. When my alarm went off, I took about fifteen minutes to meditate before committing to getting up and ready. I chose to get through one thing at a time and not obsess about everything that was beyond my control. And here's how the day turned out:

• I got the job, which is full time and pays fairly well, and means I can still squeeze in time for my chiropractor and my therapist... and I start tomorrow
• I got a refund check back from a company (which, for legal reasons, will be unnamed) that did not deliver on the services they promised in their contract, and that whole matter is now officially finished, which is a huge weight off my mind
• Rita, after 11+ years of being an adorable goofball and hilarious Wookie-impersonator, had to be put to sleep-- she had been dramatically ill, lost 8 pounds in a little more than a week, could barely stand or walk, and even the vet said that their wasn't anything that could be done to pull her through

Today was the first day in a long time where I felt like people were connected to me. I had many friends and family share in my relief of finally having money coming back in and my hurt of having to say goodbye to a friend that had saved my life on more than one occasion. My oldest brother, who loved Rita so very much, had a hard time hearing about the news over the phone (he lives in Indiana), and for a little sister, hearing your big brother cry is scary stuff.

Since I have to be up early for my new job tomorrow, I need to wrap it up here and get ready for bed. After so much crying, falling asleep should be easier than it was last night, where I had some massive unknowns ticking through my head, keeping me grinding my teeth for much longer than I expected.

Rita? You know how much I love you, and always will.

My last shot of my Rita, a puppy to the very, very end