Today is the kind of day that makes me want to call in sick (she writes while sitting at her desk at work), snuggle up with a down comforter, a warm puppy or two, a mug of tea, and watch movies all day after sleeping in for another two hours. If only sleeping was a safe place for my brain at the moment.
I've had nightmares for three or four days now, and they're incredibly vivid, ranging from things seeping or bursting out of my skin to being abused to life and death decisions. I don't know why exactly they're clumping up on me at the moment, because even though there's certainly a lot of frustration in my life right now, I feel like I am dealing with it more efficiently than I usually do. The tricks I've learned from my therapy sessions and have been incorporating into my day are helpful, and I have more stability than I've had in years. Of course, I'm still having the random shit day, which is to be expected after nearly three decades of learning particular behaviors and the discomfort (putting it mildly) of trying to unlearn them. So it doesn't really make sense to me, having this random bout of nightmares, especially ones that involve so much physical harm.
Anyway. Looking forward to my therapy session this weekend, and planning to be a little frivolous and pull a double feature at the movies afterwards; "The Martian" and "Steve Jobs" have been on my list for months, and if I can finagle it, I'm going to see them back to back on Saturday. We're getting into award-worthy movie months, and there's a lot of material worth seeing. I'm particularly excited about "Steve Jobs", true Sorkinophiliac that I am, even though I don't really see Michael Fassbender fitting the Steve Jobs look or persona. Don't get me wrong... he fi-ine, but I don't really see "tech magnate" when I look at him... I see "fine-ass pimp, looking all 70s in X-Men"... sorry, wiping away drool. I will be happy to be proven wrong after seeing the movie, but for now, I have a difficult time looking at Fassbender and seeing anything other than Magneto.
Fingers are crossed for a calmer day at work-- we've all been running on fumes, and it would be great if we could all get through a day where half of us didn't want to quite by the end of it. (That one sentence took my four times as long to write because I kept having to stop for phone calls. Yes, that's my job, but who the hell needs to conduct so much business before 9:00am? We sell supplements, we're not doing any stock trading here!)
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